Week 9, Question 2

This was an easy one and my example I think is one most of us can relate to. I have had selective attention when in a small group in a class I didn’t really care about but it was a requirement so it had to be taken. For example I had a sociology class about social problems. It was by far the worst class ever yet, I still had to go every Tuesday/Thursday and listen to everyone put in their two sense of the world. The book talked about how we use selective attention when issues like race, stereotypes and preconceived ideas and this class was centered around these exact topics. I remember when we talked about the idea of banning smoking on campuses and I could care less what the outcome was. I listened to what I wanted to but for the most part I didn’t care. But when it came to topics like the death penalty, I was very interested because I want to get into the law enforcement field. By having a connection with a topic you are more likely to be tuned into it. I don’t smoke nor do I care if other people choose to ruin their lives with those cancer sticks. The way to overcome this problem is to just be more open to all peoples ideas and thoughts. I have pretty set ways of thinking but I need to change that up sometimes.  Just because an issue doesn’t affect me doesn’t mean I cant listen and respect those who do have a strong view.

Week 9, Question 1

I know this may sound dumb to some people but this chapter made me go back to the past few months and my recent dating record. I was seeing this guy for the past month or so and I found that the section on evaluating the message content really spoke a lot about what I have been thinking and the reasons why I did what I did. I have very high standards and I always knock guys down because I am so picky with what I want. I really do look at the pros and the cons of having a new partner and when the bad outweigh the good you have to get rid of them. I focus on the “facts” like does he have a job? What is his past history? What exactly is he looking for in a relationship? Those all add up to my overall choice to be with someone or not. I laughed at the end of the paragraph it says, “it is important not to evaluate before collecting enough information.” I am very guilty of this, I don’t listen to their facts of life enough before I jump to the conclution if they are good enough for me. This phase is the most difficult for me simply because I don’t look far enough into what it is the message is trying to tell me. I need to not jump to conclutions so fast and really listen to peoples more often because I could miss out of a good thing.

Week 9, Question 3

Definitley this weeks chapter on listening helps/connects with me very well. I am a cheerleading coach for 14 girls ages 10 and under. Listening is a hard thing especially at their age and the trying to get through to them the importance of why it is they are at practice and why they practice so hard.

Often times I catch the girls watching the gymnastics team or off in “LALA” land when they should be paying attention to what is going on. This week one of the concepts that really related was active listing. Active listening is described as hard work. The person but be engaged with all that is around them and the members of the group. The barriers to active listen definitely had me naming certain kids of mine to each one and the book really helped me make sense on why it is they do what they do. Lack of interest in a main one sometimes I see the kids struggling with.

 I work in a very high end area that a lot of the moms live (and it is SOOOO obvious) though their kids and want them to be these amazing cheerleaders and it isn’t what the kids want. So when they come to practice they are bored, they find other things to try to watch to make the time pass. In the end I end up getting super frustrated at the kids but it isn’t their fault they don’t listen, it all comes from other factors that make up their behavior. (I love when you learn stuff that works in real life!!!!)

Week 7, Question 3

A concept I really enjoyed in this chapter was the nonverbal communication section on facial expressions. I think I really enjoyed it because it is something I can relate to as a cheerleader. Whenw e are preforming we are talking with our bodies. Facial expressions tell a lot about our performance by how well we use it. We are trained to smile, wink, make kissy faces all to connect with the audience. Facial expression are always ways of reading peoples mind. When some ones happy they shine. Their smile can reach ear to ear and their eyes can gleam with happiness. On the other hand sadness can be deeply expressed. Holding back emotions can easily help you tell the difference of happy tears and tears of sadness. The smallest use of our facial features can tell a lot of what we think. Eye contact was another part of facial expression that can really connect people and make communication stronger.

Week 7, Question 2

Proxemics is “the study of how we use space to communicate.” This means how close our personal, social and world space is can determine how open a person is. The way we use space can hint to how we feel about one and other. For example if there are few people in a room, yet we choose to stand far away from the rest of the people, it may suggest that we don’t like the people as much. Same goes for standing in close proximity to another. That may suggest a close relationship or personal attraction to each other. An example of how another culture uses this is the Italians. We (yes I am Italian) love to hug, kiss and hold onto the people that are close to use long when we first greet. When I go to see family members, we kiss, touch and show great affection and keep each other in close distance. The universal culture I would say is respect his or her own set proxemics. Everyone has a limit to what is too close or what is just right.

Chronemics is “the study of the use of time.” This means it is how we value time in regards to communication. The book talks about how western cultures value time as money and that’s a great example. Time wasted is time that could have been used making tons of money with another group that values the word time. You can use this in caparison to sports teams. Every second of the game counts and could have been points scored. Waste of the time is not okay because it has a large impact on how the outcome is going to turn.

Week 7, Question 1

The first code I was drawn to was that of number 1. This says that, “our nonverbal communication affects the quality of our relationships.” In any relationship what we don’t say, or what our body language may suggests tells a story. How we intereact with a group of people tells a lot about our roile in the group. If you love working with person “A” and always get shy around person “C” you could suggest that maybe you like “C” and “A” is someone you can be good friends with.

Another code I enjoyed was the 6^th code that says, “The things we notice lead to interpretation and assignment of meaning.” I really like this one because it is something I truly believe in. Our actions give meaning to what it is we don’t say. By our body language, facial expression we can say a million things without speaking a word. Sometimes this can have both a positive and negative effect on our communication because we may think someone’s actions suggest one thing when they really could interpret a whole different story.

Week 6, Question 2

When observing a group and providing feedback there is some guidelines and expectations to uphold. When you are evaluating a group they rely on your comments and outsiders opinion to help make them better. In order to do so the book talks about many different points to follow. To sum them up the first point was to avoid vague words such as “good”, “amazing” or “could improve on.” Instead of small words, talk about what it is deep in the root of the group that they did well or could make better. Next is focus on the actions of each member, see how they can be improved on or changed. For example, was one person over bossy while another sat back and let their voice not be heard? Next only suggest changes, don’t try to force them upon the group. Even when you strongly disagree, just tell them don’t make it an argument. Going off that, remember who you are and your role to this group. You are simply an observer and they look to you for feedback. Don’t try to change or comment on everything, pick a few areas to touch on and give comments about. Start with positive and end with suggestions, this will make a smooth feedback report. Lastly, be clear about what it is your feedback is on. As the book says, “your job is to help the group develop and improve.”